Category Adoption

I wrote you a blog post

J is angry…. And he has started writing.

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Ten years ago today

Ten years ago I met my son for the first time. Those first days are coloured forever by memories of 7/7 …

Whispering

“Mummy loves you”… or “Your mummy loves you”.

Every night for getting on for two thousand nights, I whispered these words into my sleeping son’s ear….

The Vote

When J was first taken into care, he was so hungry that he ate off the floor and out of bins. His appetite was insatiable, and it took him years to learn that adults could be relied upon to feed him regularly, and not to overeat in times of stress. Of course, he wasn’t taken […]

The school trousers

There are twenty school days left until the half term holidays and then J never has to wear school uniform again. By the end of the school year, his trousers are ready for the recycling box: frayed, shiny seated, their easy-care everlasting creases just a fading memory. But it is April and these pairs of […]

A white child who is of average height

When I told my son J that he had a little sister, and what her name was, the baby girl in question was already a few months old. Seven year old J looked at me saucer-eyed, and with his mouth wide open. “But how do you know all that?” he asked me. At the point […]

This life

It was a damp afternoon in February. I had an hour ahead of me with a family therapist, as part of our ongoing though occasional interactions with CAMHS’s family support services. Kate was asking me what I thought my future held for me….

Adopting in the UK

Some of the people who read my blog are potential adopters. But you might not know it yet!

Today I have created a new Page called Adopting, Blogs and Websites, which you can find if you click on the red link of the same name….

Of course we’re not symmetrical. But read on.

Most parents don’t choose their children.
Because I adopted, I had that privilege. Read on to find out how I made that choice.

And the walls came tumbling down

Crash, bang, wallop. J is showing signs of distress. “I don’t like this, mum”. In the middle of the room we are creating a precarious pile of his worldly possessions. J is moving rapidly, wrenching posters down, yanking drawers from under his bed. He is grim. Dust swirls around us. I turn my back and […]

Great skies at night

I grew up only 50 miles from London, in a village which was connected to the rest of the world by a bus, and not very much else. Living far from school meant that we quickly developed a degree of independence which I think is probably unusual in children today. Every day, from the age […]

A celebration

Today, at midday, J and I will attend the christening of a little girl whose adoptive mum I was first in touch with when J was only eight. We were brought together – and strangely I don’t remember who introduced us or exactly when – because she was a prospective single adopter and someone, somewhere, […]

A letter for Edward Timpson MP

I’ve been waiting for the last two weeks for my personal letter of thanks from Children and Families Minister, Edward Timpson. I first heard about his thank you letter on Facebook and Twitter during National Adoption Week. There’d been a big announcement: “Adoptive parents across the country have received a personal letter of thanks from […]

The stuff you don’t say

“If you were a man, Mum, I’d be exactly the same. I’d still expect you to do everything for me”. I’d thrown out a casual accusation of sexism, something about not helping with the washing up, and always expecting me to make the tea. This had provoked an angry and vehement denial. For a moment […]

And what happens if….? How my family stepped up to a challenge

Before my social worker would put me forward for approval as a single adopter, she wanted me to ask my sister and brother-in-law whether they would commit to bringing up my future child if anything ever happened to me. That wasn’t an easy conversation for me to initiate. Camilla and Lloyd had both worked for […]