Prompted by The Boy’s Behaviour‘s touching post on the same subject, I asked my son J what the word Forever meant to him. “I don’t know what you mean Mum. I’m tired for God’s sake”.
I should have stopped there, but I was tired too, and prepared to take a risk for a shortcut to a blog post.
“Do you remember me telling you that I was your Forever Mummy?”. He is unamused, impatient, insensitive to the fact that words like these had helped build a strong sense of security and permanency when he was much younger. “Of course I do”. “And do you remember how that made you feel?”. Now his eyes are full of disdain. “I think it’s rather condescending that you’re even asking me that. It’s obvious that’s what you are”.
I have been full of doubt in recent months…. about my capacity to parent an angry teen, about my troubling emotional response to his aggression, even (and these words are whispered) about whether I want my forever to be full of such rejection and uncertainty. But when J says “it’s obvious that’s what you are”, I am a little reassured that we remain on the right track, despite what sometimes feels like all the signs to the contrary.
This post was written especially for The Adoption Social’s Weekly Adoption Shout Out on the theme of Forever..