Forever and forever

Prompted by The Boy’s Behaviour‘s touching post on the same subject, I asked my son J what the word Forever meant to him. “I don’t know what you mean Mum. I’m tired for God’s sake”.

I should have stopped there, but I was tired too, and prepared to take a risk for a shortcut to a blog post.

“Do you remember me telling you that I was your Forever Mummy?”. He is unamused, impatient, insensitive to the fact that words like these had helped build a strong sense of security and permanency when he was much younger. “Of course I do”. “And do you remember how that made you feel?”. Now his eyes are full of disdain. “I think it’s rather condescending that you’re even asking me that. It’s obvious that’s what you are”.

I have been full of doubt in recent months…. about my capacity to parent an angry teen, about my troubling emotional response to his aggression, even (and these words are whispered) about whether I want my forever to be full of such rejection and uncertainty. But when J says “it’s obvious that’s what you are”, I am a little reassured that we remain on the right track, despite what sometimes feels like all the signs to the contrary.

South Downs Way

This post was written especially for The Adoption Social’s Weekly Adoption Shout Out on the theme of Forever..

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6 comments

  1. I’m so pleased that you had this conversation. You might have both been tired, but I’m glad you found reassurance in his words x

    Thanks for linking up to #waso, and for reading my post too x

    1. I need moments like this at the moment to keep me sane…. He really does know how to surprise me. I always enjoy reading your posts 🙂

  2. This made me smile. I’m glad you were able to gain some reassurance from his response. Bless them, teens, you do have to work to get anything out of them don’t you?

    1. Yes, and quite often I think Why do I bother?! J can be totally charming and then totally vile from one moment to the next. Bit like me at the moment 🙂

  3. Teens are awesome! I miss them after years of teaching them and their non sequitur ways 🙂 This conversation seems like a result, as far as a teen-parent conversation goes anyway!

    1. All those raging hormones! Mostly I agree, teens ARE great, but I’m not so keen on the shouting. I think I might prefer the sulking but that isn’t on offer at the moment. But…. we have had a proper talk about things this weekend so things are looking up

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